Escaped From the Vault!

5 Classic Beard Monster Oils, here for a very short time.

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Extraterrestrial

A tropical blend of citrus and floral oils. Beachy as hell. If you can't get off work to hit the coast this summer (who can?), turn your shower experience into a Martian Vacation.

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Natural & Sustainable

Everything is made with naturally derived ingredients.

Small Family Business

Our products are made by us - a husband and wife in Longview, WA.

Handmade in Washington, USA

Everything is made by American artisans (us).

Small Batch Quality

When nothing is mass produced, quality assurance is much simpler.

Signature Creations

The most popular concoctions our mad scientists are churning out at the moment.

The Sinister Stash - Flesh & Mane

The Sinister Stash - Flesh & Mane

$ 69.00 USD

The Sinister Stash - Flesh & Mane

$ 69.00 USD
Beard Oil

Beard Oil

$ 10.00 USD

Beard Oil

$ 10.00 USD
The Sinister Stash - Flesh

The Sinister Stash - Flesh

$ 34.00 USD

The Sinister Stash - Flesh

$ 34.00 USD
Monster Fragrance

Monster Fragrance

$ 7.00 USD

Monster Fragrance

$ 7.00 USD
Beard Oil Sample Pack

Beard Oil Sample Pack

$ 20.00 USD

Beard Oil Sample Pack

$ 20.00 USD
MONSTER Deodorant

MONSTER Deodorant

$ 9.00 USD

MONSTER Deodorant

$ 9.00 USD
MONSTER Hair Shampoo & Conditioner Combo

MONSTER Hair Shampoo & Conditioner Combo

Regular price  $ 16.00 USD Sale price  $ 15.00 USD

MONSTER Hair Shampoo & Conditioner Combo

Sale price  $ 15.00 USD Regular price  $ 16.00 USD

Bride

Sweet and refreshing chocolate mint.